Reprinted from the Health District's quarterly publication mailed to district residents (Winter 2006)
TOPIC: Easy does it: Set reasonable expectations and make this a holiday to remember
 
by kelly serrano

Holidays are supposed to be about celebrating, relaxing and spending quality time with family and friends.

But for many, the holidays are about expectations — too many, in fact, says Lin Wilder, co-coordinator of Connections, a local mental health and substance abuse resource center.  

“I think we have certain expectations of what the holidays should be or have to be,” she says. “We’re surrounded by a society that over-does it. It’s real easy to fall into the trap of thinking you’re not doing enough.”

Whether it’s spending too much money or making too many commitments, the holidays can lead to disappointment and even depression for people who become overwhelmed by expectations.

“They aren’t actually even enjoying it, but they’re doing it over and over,” she says.

Some simple steps can help make the holidays truly merry, Wilder says.

“It really is a matter of trying to figure out what is the most meaningful — what your values are,” she says.
a few stress busters
  • Plan ahead with your family; be intentional about how you’ll celebrate.

  • Look at each expectation and determine if it’s realistic and learn to say “no” graciously to what isn’t.

  • Ask others for help and delegate responsibilities.

  • Avoid overindulging in holiday foods and alcohol.

  • Commit to doing one or two things differently this year.

  • Maintain regular habits such as healthy eating, exercising and getting plenty of sleep.

  • Take a hike or participate in a community walk/run.

  • Postpone commitments and activities that aren’t holiday-related (e.g., doctor’s appointments) until after the holidays when possible.

  • Don’t feel bad about things that didn’t go quite as planned; learn from them and stay positive.

trimming costs, time off commitments
  • Draw names for gift-giving.
  • Budget and limit the number of gifts.
  • Write a New Year's letter instead of holiday cards.
  • Replace a holiday party with a winter party in the new year.
  • Give nontraditional, personal gifts such as a recording of grandmother's memories, a collection of favorite music, recipes or a framed photo.